Smile with India : Jokes Section

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Sardar's Answering Machine
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Idiot! phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" (Idiot! He's taking the phone and saying he's not there.)

A new Bihari lecturer was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him.

So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he didn't know how to put it in English..

He went near the guy. Shouted "follow me". The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted "Don't follow me" and went inside the class.........

Joke-4

Joke-5

Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is always empty? It’s for people who can’t swim!

Train main T T Sadhu se bola,
Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu:- Jahan Ram ji ka janam hua tha.
TT:- Ticket Hai ?
Sadhu:- Nahi
TT:- Chalo
Sadhu:- Kahan?
TT:- Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha (Jail)

Joke-6

Joke-7

Two friends Billooo & Tillooo went to school for appearing in English exam (7th standard). They had crammed an essay of "MY BEST FRIEND". But unfortunately, in the question-paper it was written ...... write an essay on "MY FATHER” in just 30-45 words .So Billooo was utterly confused & nervous ...what to do!!! Tillooo gave an idea . . . . Just write the essay My best friend & just keep on replacing the word friend with the father..... So this was how Billooo & Tillooo wrote the essay "MY FATHER"......Fathers & fathers are everywhere, but good fathers are very rare. I have so many fathers, but my best father is pyarelal. He is my neighbour. He often comes to my home & my mother likes him very much.

What would be changed if Laloo Prasad becomes India's Prime Minister:

1. National Anthem : Khana Pina Adhik Zaroorat hai...
2. National Attire : Dhoti & Kurta
3. National Drink : Fresh Buffalo Milk
4. National Animal : Buffalo, from Bihar
5. National Sport : Milking Buffalo (morning)
Buffalo Race (evening)
6. Corporate Language : Enlish-va
7. National Family Planning Policy : Hum Do, Humare Dozen
8. National Documentry Film : Laloo Ban Gaya Gentleman
9. National Vehicle : Buffalo Cart
10. National Recreation : Pro-creation

Joke-8

Joke-9

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Sir: bachcho kasam khao kabhi sharab,sigret nahi pioge,non veg nahi khaoge.
Bachche: nahi khaenge sir.
Sir: kabhi ladkiyon ko nahi chhedoge.
Bachche: theek hai sir.
Sir: jua nahi kheloge.
Bachche: ok sir.
Sir: desh ke liye jaan bhi de doge.
Bachche: de denge sir, aisi jaan ka aur karenge bhi kya

Joke-10

Joke-11

Mushraf to Bush - We are sending Pakistani to the moon next year.Bush - Wow! How Many? Mushraf- 100
25 - Siya
25 - Sunni
5 - Handicapped
5 - Sports Persons
5 - Terrorist Affected
5 - Kashmiri Migrants
9 - Politicians
and if possible
21 - baki mere ristedaar

John Abraham was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila."
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
John looked up again and said,
"Never mind. I found one."

Joke-12

Joke-13

Excerpt from a Laloo Prasad Yadav Speech (it was really said by him)
"I Thank You All For Coming Here From The Bottom Of My Heart And Also From My Wife's Bottom"

Once a sardar doctor calls his sardar patient on the phone and says 'Hi, main bol raha hoon!'

The other sardarji replies 'Kamaal hain, ithe vi main bol raha hoon!'

Doctor to Sardar: 'Aapka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai!'

Sardar: 'Hoga, zaroor hoga! 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai!'

Joke-14

Joke-15

Girl:Darling Hum Kahan Jaa Rahe Hain???

Boy:Darling Hum Ek Long Drive Par Jaa Rahe Hain....

Girl:(Nakhra) Pehle Kyon Nahi Bataya????

Boy:Mujhe Bhi Abhi Pata Chala Jab Car Ke Brakes Fail Huye........

To my regret I have to postpone my wedding with Sahil.

- Why?

- I marrying Rishi now.

Joke-16

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Sahil : Are you sure that u only love me?

Niki : Ya. I checked the whole list yesterday